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15 Nicknames That Sound Like Cartoon Characters, Not NFL Players

NFL nicknames are supposed to strike fear into opponents or reflect dominance on the field. But occasionally, a player ends up with a nickname that sounds more like they should be chasing a coyote off a cliff or scheming in a Saturday morning cereal commercial.

These are the monikers that feel less gridiron and more Saturday morning cartoon. Whether it’s the rhyme, the silliness, or pure chaos, these names belong in a Looney Tunes script as much as they do on a jersey.

15. Bubby Brister

Bubby Brister
r/DenverBroncos on Reddit

This one sounds like the name of a chipmunk with an acorn addiction. It’s hard to believe it belonged to a legit NFL quarterback.

14. Pacman Jones

Adam Jones
Openverse

Pacman was more famous for off-field chaos than chomping pellets. Still, the nickname should be paired with a pixelated maze and ghost enemies.

13. Cadillac Williams

Cadillac Williams
Wikipedia

It’s a luxury car, not a linebacker’s nightmare. Sounds like a smooth-talking cartoon raccoon with a taste for the finer things.

12. Beanie Wells

Beanie Wells
Dougmac7/Wikipedia

Beanie sounds like someone’s sidekick in a show set in a magical forest. Not exactly a name that screams 1,000-yard rusher.

11. Tiki Barber

Tiki Barber
r/NYGiants on Reddit

Tiki sounds like a coconut-wielding cartoon island explorer. Add “Barber” and now you’ve got someone cutting hair on a surfboard.

10. Whizzer White

Byron Raymond Whizzer White
r/OldSchoolCool on Reddit

Whizzer feels like the guy who races soapbox cars downhill with goggles and a scarf. Somehow, he also became a Supreme Court Justice. Wild.

9. Booger McFarland

Booger McFarland
All Sports Custom Framing/Ebay

Booger. McFarland. It’s like a gross-out cartoon character who accidentally saves the day with sneezes. He also won a Super Bowl, by the way.

8. Ickey Woods

Ickey Woods
YouTube | Pro Football Daily

Ickey sounds like a cartoon janitor who breaks into dance at inconvenient times. Which, honestly, isn’t far from what he did with the Ickey Shuffle.

7. Megatron (Calvin Johnson)

Calvin Johnson
Wikipedia

Megatron belongs in a Decepticon battle, not the Detroit huddle. Still, it fit his game perfectly—just sounded a little too animated.

6. Tank Bigsby

Tank Bigsby
YouTube | Kalifornia Highlights

Tank Bigsby is an NFL running back or a bulldog detective in a kids’ crime-solving show. Honestly, it could be both.

5. Y.A. Tittle

Y. A. Tittle on a 1954 trading card
Bowman Gum/Wikipedia

The name sounds like a side character in a Roald Dahl story. “And then Y.A. Tittle flew away in his gumdrop-powered jetpack…”

4. Touchdown Tommy Vardell

Tommy Vardell
Youtube | RM

Touchdown Tommy sounds like a cereal mascot who scores points for breakfast. He did play fullback, but the nickname belongs on a cereal box.

3. The Assassin (Jack Tatum)

Jack Tatum
Youtube | R.E.T.R.O.

If you’re trying to scare kids, this is the cartoon villain you introduce in episode one. It sounds like someone Skeletor would hire as a muscle.

2. Zeke the Freak (Ezekiel Elliott)

Ezekiel Elliott
Photo by All-Pro Reels

It rhymes, it’s loud, and it screams Saturday morning energy. Zeke the Freak could’ve easily been a skateboard-riding monster on Nickelodeon.

Read More: 10 NFL Nicknames That Are Straight-Up Intimidating

1. Night Train Lane

Night Train Lane
Detroit Lions/NFL on Wikipedia

This is 100 percent the name of a mystery-solving train conductor who solves ghost crimes. Somehow, it also belonged to one of the hardest-hitting DBs in NFL history.

Read More: Ranking the 15 Funniest NFL Coaches of All Time

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